Wednesday, February 23, 2011

one of "those" thoughts

i'm 
so 
(fucking)
lost...


my life, at the moment, feels like CRAP
i don't go to school. i don't do anything but work, sleep and eat.
i feel like i'm a slob and just wasting my life and time.
i get to compare myself to other people my age.
they have all their shit figured out and what in the world am I doing.
i'm stuck in this deep, dark hole with no way to escape.
that is unless i dig it out myself and find a way up.
THAT'S what i need to do but right now, but, like i said...
i'm so fucking lost.
everything i do seems to just DRAG ME DOWN.
is it because i'm confused? or is it just because i can't think straight.
i feel different. i mean it's good to be different right? 
but NOT in THIS kind of way...
i mean who is it to tell me to do what to do right?
i can do whatever i want right?
but what if i don't know what i want to do?
what if i don't know what i want from my life?
what if i just don't know....about everything
fml

Monday, February 14, 2011

v-day

happy valentine's day




i feel so lonely...

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Questions

questions.
we have numerous amount of questions but a limited amount of answers. 
(well at least that's how it feels like)
can all the questions be answered?


the thought of having a question but not being able to get an answer.
it feels like as if you're waiting for something, but you don't know what it is. 
you feel insecure so you start to question even more.
when does this end? 
when the answer is told.


valentine's day's coming soon.
i don't really care about it since i have no one to spend it with.
(pretty depressing isn't it?)
i don't really mind having no one. 
it'll be nice if i did but i don't and i'm fine with it.
but i will admit i do get jealous at the site of couples on that day.
valentine's day.


who made that day anyways?
what is valentine's day?
it's about love. 
that's all that i know of.
something that everyone wants to feel.
love.


the big L word.
some people are afraid to use that word.
they think it's too serious.
they think it's just a joke.
they use it to call their friends.
family. wife. husband. boyfriend. girlfriend.


there was a time when someone told me that they loved me.
and to tell the truth, i don't know what that means.
what does it mean when you say you love someone?
that you'll risk everything for that one person?
that you'll give up anything just to be with that person?
what is the definition of love?
if i go on the street and ask people what love means,
i'll probably get different answers. 
so there is no real definition of love.
you can't really explain what it is.
it's an emotion, an expression.
it's something really hard to describe.
it's easy to fall for but difficult to get out from it.
it has to be carefully dealt with.


people fall in love all the time.
and it's always painful to...how do you say it...
get out? break free? break up?
the pain that anyone can feel when there is no love.


how does that pain go away?
how can it heal?
will it ever go away?
or will i always have this wound...

Friday, February 4, 2011

finally

happy birthday to me (:
nothing can ruin today 
because i'm finally LEGAL