being committed to something

being able to give things up for something.

not everyone is able to do that.

guess i'm one of them.

when i start something, i don't get to see the end.

i quit, give up.

i can't give up what i have just to do something.

i have difficulty moving on.

i try new things.

if i like it then i'll continue.

but never see the end.

it gets tiring, annoying, boring.

it's just not what i want it to be.

when i first met you i was glad.

finally someone i've never met, someone new.

but i should have thought more.

now i regret.

things were getting better.

you seemed to solve all problems.

you were there when i needed help.

though, it was a short amount of time.

i was warned not once, not twice but a hell of times.

should have listened.

now this is the result.

of my ignorance and stupidity.

we're both gonna get hurt.

i'm gonna hate myself for this.

you're gonna hate me for this.

but i can't keep doing this.

i can't keep hurting people i care for.

i can't keep hating myself for what i've done.

i know you cared for me.

i know you were committed.

i know you were willing to give things up for me.

but i can't accept it.

it's too much.

i can't give back what you have given to me.

i'm not committed.

and i definitely can't give things up for anything or anyone.

at least not yet.

i'm sorry for all the mess that i've done.

for all the time you've spent.

for all the care that you've wasted.

i don't want this right now.

i don't need time.

i know what i want.

you don't want a person like me.

it's a waste.

you've wasted enough of what you have.

this is what i should have done.

told you that you're my friend.

nothing more, nothing less.

a friend.

i'm sorry if i've hurt you.

i didn't want to do this, but it's just not right.

hope you understand.

Downtown

First day of March Break and I spent it with my sister. (:

My sister and I went to St. Lawrence Market and found that it was closed on mondays.

So we just went to Spring Rolls. Ate some food. Visited Metro and did some grocery shopping.

Bought movie tickets to watch Alice In Wonderland (not 3-D sadly). It was Tim Burton.

It was awesome.

We walked around. I was taking pictures. My sister was a human tripod.

I haven't been in downtown for a while.

It was getting chilly. My sister and I walked around. Eventually got to the subway station.

She got her GO train ticket. I got my TTC ticket.

We hugged. Said bye. Came home.

I'll be at my sister's place from thursday to saturday.

It was a nice day.

My Photography stuff (from school)

all these photographs are black and white because of the camera i'm using in school

it's pentax 35mm and very old

have to go in the darkroom and develop the images after the film has been processed

it's all manually done which takes a lot and i mean A LOT of time.

but it's fun

cherry blossom tree (i think)

when i was walking home from school

- frame

took this in my room
- detail and a vantage point in this photograph

outside of my school

it's this net thing stuck on the wall

and it has this meter measuring thing inside

- detail and vantage point

very old tree on the hill on the way to school

it has all these fungi and different things

i have no idea what they are

the long fungi at the right background looks like a caterpillar :)

- detail

part of the broken fence at my house backyard

focused on that dented/mark

- detail and vantage point