mellography

who knew that one human being could have so many tears in them.
who knew that one human being could feel so much pain in a short moment..
who knew that one human being could be me.
who knew...
it's like what it was before again and again.
it always comes back and stabs right through me.
seems like there's no end to this and every time it gets better, it gets even worse.
i thought that i was over this
i thought that once it hit me, i would be different.
but that obviously didn't happen.
i'm the same and nothing changed.
so many things happening.
so many things to deal with.
too much for me.
i know i have people that i can talk to but i can't
i don't know how and it just hurts.
one after the other it's like a series of events.
a never ending story. an unfinished story.
i lose something and i keep losing them.
i don't know how to find them.
i don't know if i can.
i know i'm not the only one
but from who i'm with most of the time.
no can understand and i don't dare tell them. i can't.
i feel like my head's going to explode any minute...
i feel so lost and confused.
it feels like the end.