Wednesday, September 29, 2010

everywhere i go, i remember everything we did together.
all the places we've been together, they bring memories.
realizing that it was just a dream.
we both moved on from the past.
i'm not stuck in the past from where i left off.
i'm not regretting and holding on to the memories and not letting go.
they helped me get over the thought that we would ever be together again but now i'm not alone.
i have them to help me get through the pain, to help me live my life again.
it was stupid of me even to think that i could be with you again.
now i don't mind having you out of my life.
i've realized that i'm actually better off without you.
at first i never thought that this day would come.
the day when i don't even care that you're standing right in front of me and i don't give a shit about you.
to even think that you were everything to me.
i must have been crazy.
now i feel better and i am better.
so let's just live our lives separately.
not caring a single soul about each other.
not giving a shit about you and i.
i want to thank you for all the love and care and especially the pain you gave me.
from that i'll never make the same mistakes.
here's something for you, don't give in so easily.
you never know what they can do to you, you don't know what you can do to yourself.
so live you're life and i hope you're happy that you got what you wanted.
be happy and never forget.
just smile.

i won't be blogging for a while...with school and work i've been pretty busy.
well no one's really reading my shit anyways but just reminding myself that i don't have the time anymore.
if something happens then i'll blog for sure. something interesting, something unique, something new.
'every smile has its season' 
i guess mine's over for now. it'll be back for sure. some day...

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

moved on

at least that's what i think i did.
seeing him everyday knowing that it's different now.
knowing that he just likes me as a friend. nothing more.
and here i am still going crazy for him.
i still want him in my life, so if being friends is the only way then that's what i'll do. 
it hurts seeing him and acting like we're just 'friends'
cause to me he's not just a friend.
it's just hard for me, it really hurts.
he's just there, moved on. not caring a single thing for me while i have to suffer through all this pain.
just like my friend said
i want to delete all the memories i had with him.
erase them from my mind so then i'll be able to move on.
so then i don't have to feel so hurt.
but like that's going to happen.
it's just one of those things, an experience, something i learn from.
i really don't know how to put this in words.
i was willing to give up, commit, change. everything that i couldn't do with anybody else.
just for him.
it just really hurts. only if we could turn back time

Saturday, September 4, 2010

the end


아프다. 죽을만큼 아파.
이제 어떻게...
할말도없고
그냥 아프단 말만.