weird

i feel like today's a weird day...i asked my ex why he cheated on me. he was high. (no shit) but not super high. high enough. it was weird. i told him he knew it was coming someday. he asked why now. i told him because i have the guts to ask. before i didn't. i'm really curious. i really want to know. i thought he's going to use his high as an excuse. and i was right. he did. he told me that he would text me or something when he sobers up. i said no. i want to know now. and because there's a party the next day and i know that he was going to get CRUNK. (most likely just high the fuck out of his mind). right now i bet that he's thinking wtf is wrong with this bitch. why is she acting like this. what's wrong with her. blah blah blah talking shit about me. whatever. he said one thing. just ONE THING that made him cheat on me. i knew it was going to be THAT because he told me before. but i never knew that people were talking about. people as in his friends and my friends. i really didn't think that he'd believe in them since i was his girlfriend. (but as always i was wrong, i guess friends do come first for him) before when we were going out. i asked him what was bothering him. i literally had to FORCE him to talk to me about how he felt. it's weird. he tells me to tell him everything that's on my mind. and i did. but he didn't tell me anything that was on his mind. i thought that that was a little odd. but that was the past. this is now. so i asked him if that was all but i knew there was more. i knew i ruined his high so he was probably thinking somewhat straight forward. then he just stood there not saying anything. i told him that i would stand there until he told me. nothing. i wait. nothing. i said that he was hopeless and just walked away. i text him when i got home (maybe that wasn't such a good idea..but oh well i already did). i said that i'd wait for him to tell me since he said that he would when he sobers up. i also said that he probably wouldn't talk to me EVER again (true...) so if it's better then text me about it. (but really i highly doubt that he will) i think what he will do is get high the fuck out of his mind tonight at the party and try to forget about it. never think about it again. never talk to me again. THE END. of our friendship. my friend told me that we would be friends again. but it might take a long time. (even longer than what it took before, a few good months). right now, after 2 hours of that shot conversation i'm thinking. i just lost another good friend of mine. but it had to come out some day right? i mean i couldn't ask before because i was a fucking pussy but now it's different. I'M DIFFERENT. i can't just hold it in any longer. we were still talking, we were still close friends after the break up. but i knew, we knew, that this day would come. it happened. all we gotta do is WAIT. well that's what i'm going to be doing. i'm not sure about him. today's a weird day. it's one of those days that i'll remember. it's one of those days i'll constantly think of and tell my friends i forgot about it. it's one of those days that i'll regret. not this time. i will NOT BE REGRETTING what i did because what i did a few hours ago, i should have done a while ago. when we started as friends again. a few good months ago. but what can i do now. nothing. all i have to do is wait. i'm impatient. very impatient but waiting is all i can do at this time. hopefully it doesn't turn out like my other ruined friendships. i'm hoping something good happens. if anything GOOD can happen.